There can be no agreement absent a fair exchange of trust between both sides.

trust-fall

Trust is the most fundamental building block for every agreement and every relationship. Trust is the magnet that draws people together and it is the glue that holds things together. Once a dispute occurs, disappointment, anger and fear set in.  Trust between the parties is then often broken or lost. People stop talking to one another.  Patience has run out.  No one is willing to constructively find a way to confront and resolve the situation.  Everything grinds to a halt. Paralysis results.  The only way to cure the paralysis it is to figure out a way to restore trust.  Most people don’t figure out how they could ever trust one another again and instead just file suit.

Litigation builds walls between people and leaves no room for trust.

You can hire a lawyer to seek a judgment or determinations from a court exactly what are your legal rights and obligations; but, that still doesn’t resolve the dispute.  In the end, litigation doesn’t resolve disputes, only the people do.   Lawsuits provide little or no opportunities for the parties to communicate freely or re-establish any trust to work towards an agreement. Litigation builds walls between people.  Litigation alone is an “isolationist” strategy proven time and time again to fall short of resolving anything. More than 19 out of every 20 lawsuits filed throughout the United states are later dismissed before anything is decided.

You need a safe zone with confidential channels to communicate and rebuild trust.

Almost all disputes are eventually resolved out of court by negotiation and private agreement.  Its just a fact, sooner or later, you will end up in a settlement negotiation and when you do, you will realize that at least some reduced level of trust must again be re-introduced to fill in the gaps and uncertainty that no lawyer, judge or jury can guarantee or fill.   If you place this trust in a mediator during a confidential mediation conference, you won’t have to take a second leap of faith. You will be able to ask questions, communicate, analyze and make a much more informed decision without the fear or pressure or other influences which may have impeded your decision-making when you decided to enter into the failed agreement or relationship in the first place.

Trust in the mediation process.

No one wants to sue, be sued or remain in a lawsuit for any longer than is absolutely necessary to resolve the dispute.  The sooner you decide to trust in the mediation process, the sooner you can get the facts, not only about your case but also about the other party’s situation.  The sooner you trust in the mediation process, the sooner you’ll be able to understand all your settlement options.  The sooner you trust in the mediation process, the sooner you will be able take control of the situation and end it in the most favorable way possible.

When it comes to resolving disputes, its never a good idea to be too full of yourself.

full of yourself

A lot of lawsuits are filed and pursued much longer than they need to be simply because people are naive and overconfident. Confidence can be an intoxicating drug that people crave to make them feel better about their situation.   However, when it comes to trying to settle a difficult conflict or dispute out of court,  it’s never a good idea to be too full of yourself.

Why you don’t want to deal with this guy.

Exaggeration, arrogance and conceit usually find their way into most lawsuits but they are NOT welcome additions to any settlement negotiation.   Does anyone really want to try to negotiate with a guy who is unwilling to listen, unwilling to hear or consider anyone else’s views or interest other than their own?  If you are forced into a negotiation with this guy, do you think you would be more or less likely to have a meaning discussion or make compromises?   MUCH LESS LIKELY.

Why you don’t want to be this guy.

Don’t distract me with the facts.  I’m not listening and I am not interested in what you have to say.   These are all signs of a closed mind.  If that’s your style of trying to settle a dispute, then you are negotiating in the dark.  You won’t be able to see or take advantage of new information presented by the other parties that you might be able to use to your advantage.  You won’t recognize cues to indicate what, how much or how little to offer to move the other party closer to an agreement.   This all results in negotiation mistakes and lost settlement opportunities.  LIKELY RESULT:  You will accept too little or pay too much.

Mediators keep the parties, the lawyers and the dispute resolution process honest.

emperor-has-no-clothes

Emperor’s New Clothes is an old children’s story by Hans Christian Andersen about an emperor who pays a lot of money for some new magic clothes which can only be seen by wise people. The clothes do not really exist, but the emperor does not admit he cannot see them, because he does not want to seem stupid. Everyone else pretends to see the clothes too, until a child shouts, “The Emperor has no clothes on!” The title is often used to describe a situation in which people are afraid to criticize something because everyone else seems to think it is good or right.

Bias and bravado cause litigants and their lawyers to overlook or underestimate what is missing to prove and win a lawsuit.

You can pay a lot of money to confident lawyers who might tell you what you want to hear and promise to go to the ends of the earth to try to prove your version of a controversy or dispute. However, you should rely on a lot more than just a confident lawyer when deciding how to settle a personal family matter or a business dispute.  Sometimes, it takes a “child” eyed view from someone unbiased, unaffected or afraid to cry out the obvious, and objectively point out the challenges, flaws and missing pieces in both plaintiff’s and defendant’s views of their case.  A mediator’s observations give everyone involved, a unique opportunity to see their case from a new perspective.  Mediators are neutral and they are not afraid to ask tough, critical questions, questions that if left unanswered might leave one or both sides with false impressions, faulty logic and a foolhardy desire to unnecessarily protract the litigation.

It’s not compromise when you decide to give up something you never had.

People file and defend lawsuits based on their beliefs.  However, beliefs, without more, are worthless in court.  Lawsuits are won and lost based on laws and facts. No one wants to admit that they might not be able to prove their claims or defenses in court.  Although it may hurt to admit this, the pain is not caused by compromise, rather its caused by common sense enlightenment.   The pain gets worse if a party  waits to be called out in public by a judge or jury after parading around for months or years in a lawsuit wearing “magic clothes.”   Don’t wait for this to happen.  Instead, engage a mediator to confidentially try to help everyone get the best deal possible under the circumstances.

The mediation process empowers the parties to become more enlightened “Emperors.”

Knowledge is power.  In an adversarial lawsuit, knowledge is NOT easy to come by.   Parties share as little information as possible because what is said might be presented to and used against them by the ultimate decision-maker, the judge or jury.  You never get the full story in court, you only get as much knowledge as the opposing party chooses and is forced to disclose.  In mediation, however, the pressure is off.   Mediators are not the decision-makers.  Mediators are legally required to treat your discussions with them as confidential.  What is said in mediation stays in mediation.  As such, confiding in a mediator can’t hurt you.  To the contrary, mediators can only help, especially when provided with reasonable confidential knowledge from both sides.   Mediators can then see the extent to which both sides are relying on some “magic clothes”  putting mediators in a unique position to help tactfully guide the negotiations while still preserving all confidential information.  Learn more.

 

 

Mediation provides for the safe and secure use of confidential information to resolve lawsuits and disputes.

privilege1

I doubt whether anyone has a legal right to keep their garbage confidential. However, there are a couple of real legal rights of confidentiality that you should know about any time you face a legal dispute.   If you hire an attorney, your conversations with your attorney are confidential.  That’s called the attorney-client privilege.   Did you know that there is another legal right of confidentiality that will keep a lot more communications confidential than just those you have with your own attorney?

In mediation, you have the legal right to speak confidentially with not only your own attorney but also with the opposing parties and their attorneys.

The attorney-client privilege only causes people to do one thing, invest more time and more money pursuing litigation.  However, litigation rarely resolves anything and you won’t get very far along to resolve things out of court if you are only willing and able to speak with your own attorney.   You need to speak with the other parties to figure out what they are thinking and how they might propose to resolve the situation.  To do this you need some assurances and protection.  Everyone needs to be assured that whatever they say will not be used against them later.   Mediation and the mediation privilege does exactly that.  Its the legal right and obligation to keep all communications between everyone who attends a mediation conference confidential.

An ounce of trust placed in a good mediator is often worth more than a ton of litigation.

People are used to trusting their own attorneys and relying on them to get the information they want and need to decide how and when to resolve a lawsuit. However, your attorney can rarely get from the other side, the full story, not without a long, expensive discovery fight in court.   There is an easier way to get the facts and figures you need to try to decide how to settle a lawsuit. Imagine all the parties to the lawsuit assembled in a safe room.  Imagine a process unfolding in that safe room run by a neutral third party with no prior history or stake in the dispute.   Imagine placing your trust in this person knowing that they are legally required to keep everything you tell them confidential.   Imagine that this person could be trained to ask questions and speak privately with everyone to hear all sides of the case; the strengths, weaknesses, interests, priorities and fears of all parties.  Imagine that once this trustworthy neutral person acquires confidential information from both sides that they can use this “crystal ball” of knowledge to help both sides negotiate to get more of what they really want to settle the lawsuit out of court.  Just imagine…….better yet just mediate.

Use mediators to escalate conflicts up to the point where everyone can make informed decisions.

escalate

Mediation is designed to bring people together, and keep them together long enough to engage in a meaningful discussion that is designed to escalate conflicts up to the point where informed decisions can and will be made faster on how to resolve the conflict privately out of court.

It’s never premature to ask the tough the questions.

Procrastination won’t solve lawsuits and disputes and, in most cases, neither will lawyers and judges.  More than 95% of all cases are settled out of court by a private negotiation. Mediators are often hired to quarterback these settlement negotiations.  They know how to ask everyone the tough questions to help lead both sides to gain a much clearer and faster understanding of opposing views and interests.

The goal of mediators is to restore communications and bring everyone to a point where they are able to make a decision.    A good mediator will review in detail, both the strengths and weaknesses of all sides to a case make sure everyone understand what outcomes are possible or impossible in court.  A good mediator should help formulate and present at least one or more out of court settlement proposals.   Done right, people leave mediation with no doubt that they accomplished more during a few hours in mediation than they could otherwise accomplish fighting for months if not years in an adversarial lawsuit.

You can choose the short route or the long and winding road. 

People naively believe that, once an agreement is broken, all communications must cease and everyone should now wait and rely on lawyers and judges to tell them when to speak, what to say and exactly how to say it.   However, you don’t have to wait.  Time is money. Cut to the chase.  Mediation enables everyone speak confidentially and to say exactly what they want and why.

Litigation is the long and winding road, a round-about way to get to the point. Mediation, on the other hand, is a short, focused, legally enforceable private conversation and negotiation that you can order at any time.  Mediation conferences are regularly conducted by trained professionals who are legally required to remain neutral and unbiased and to provide everyone with a fair, flexible, confidential opportunity to speak and be heard. Good mediators are proactive, creative, problem solvers and statistics show that most disputes that are mediated are settled at mediation.  READ MORE.   Even if your case is not settled at mediation, you’ll be a lot closer.   You should leave with a clear understanding what’s  possible, what’s  reasonable what to do next to move closer to an agreement.

Establish your leverage upfront. It can be very difficult and expensive to try to get it later.

leverage

The majority of civil lawsuits filed every year involve disputes over contracts.  The sad reality it that most of these cases leave the legal system before anything is resolved leaving the parties to resolve their disputes out of court.  In the end, the court system is too often reduced to nothing more than an expensive middleman to the dispute resolution process. So, I ask you, what purpose does litigation really serve to resolve any dispute?  Leverage.

How, when and where to get Leverage 

Without leverage its tough to get anyone to agree to anything.  People tend to rely upon lawsuits to create that leverage.  Its true, lawsuits do get peoples’ attention, they educate, they scare and they empower people. They also transform, for better and worse, the way people view their disputes. The irony of it all is that the leverage you get from a lawsuit almost always falls short of resolving the case. Statistics show that most people who file lawsuits later come to realize that they are almost always better off negotiating their own settlements out of court rather than relying on the court to have the final word to determine what they will recover.

Don’t Shoot First and Look for Leverage Later

You shouldn’t wait to file a lawsuit and rely upon the courts to gain the leverage needed to resolve disagreements.   Instead, take a little extra time upfront to clearly document in writing all the key terms and conditions of your agreement and leave as little as possible for interpretation.  In your agreement, give yourself one or more options how to handle disputes should they occur later. Establish upfront, that if a dispute later occurs, everyone agrees to clearly communicate the problem to one another and to try to resolve it privately before allowing anyone to file a lawsuit.  Too few people have the foresight to include such a private dispute resolution process in their agreements and they regret it later.  Once a dispute arises its usually too late to make any such arrangements.  The only option left is litigation and once that starts, it quickly builds up a head of steam and is not easy to stop.

Self-Determination

The best way to resolve any dispute is privately without lawyers, judges, mediators, arbitrators or any other third parties. However, its not easy or comfortable for most people to navigate through the anger, conflict and uncertainty surrounding a failed relationship, business deal or contract.
Mediation, as opposed to litigation, provides people with a supervised, non-threatening and confidential negotiation process where the parties, not the lawyers ultimately control the outcome of the dispute and that outcome is usually much more certain and final than any determination or ruling that could be entered in court.

Legal Fights Continue LONG after Trial

You’ve heard the expression, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink?” That applies to a large extent to people and their disputes as well as horses. Just because a judge or jury makes a determination what someone is entitled to recover or obligated to pay, there still remains a potential legal battle to fight to enforce it.  Mediation, on the other hand, is a communication and negotiation process that is designed to help all parties formulate proposals and reach a final enforceable agreement that by the end of the mediation session, leaves no doubt that the fight is over.

So, establish the leverage you need upfront.  Clearly document your agreements in writing and include in your agreements the right and obligation to mediate any disputes first before taking them to court.  Visit  www.4disputes.com to learn more.

Is a courtroom really the best place to start to try to resolve a dispute?

race.to.court

When it comes to settling disputes, many people just don’t know what’s good for them, so they ask lawyers and judges to handle it for them.

Courts weren’t designed or intended to handle every situation.

Courts can’t handle all the lawsuits filed.   Judges and legislators are trying to do more to try to encourage and even require people to try mediation first. Laws now exist requiring mediation in certain limited situations.  That’s certainly a step in the right direction; but, it’s still just too little too late.  It’s time for the courts to channel many, many more cases to mediation and to do it sooner vs later. READ MORE.

Too few opportunities to mediate instead of proceeding with a lawsuit.

Currently, unless a contract or applicable laws requires pre-suit mediation, mediation is never even considered until near the end of a lawsuit.  There is little if any  time reserved to mediate anywhere in between.  Litigants can be left to fight in court for months or even years without making any attempt to resolve the dispute other than proceeding to trial.

Self-determination should include a legal right and opportunity to mediate to try to resolve disputes privately at any time.

Mediation is all about empowering people to decide how and when to resolve their disputes.  Its called the right of self-determination.  If the legal system really believes in this then it needs to do more.  For example, why not amend the rules of court to provide that if at least one party has requested pre-suit mediation, but the other party refuses, then the party who requested pre-suit mediation may use it against him.  Allow the party seeking to mediate plead the other party’s refusal as an affirmative defense in whatever lawsuit the refusing party may choose to file instead?  Give judges the power to dismiss (without prejudice) or at least suspend legal proceeding until a mediation requested by a party is at least attempted.  Such amendments to the court rules puts more teeth in mediation and promotes the self-determination of the more enlightened party, i.e. the one who has tried but been unable to engage other parties in a private communication to mediate a solution without going to court.

Greater access to private dispute resolution processes such as mediation needs to keep pace with the growing number of new causes of action.

Every day more and more new laws are being passed recognizing new rights and new legal causes of action.  People today have a lot more possibilities to sue. People today also have a lot more reasons to sue when you consider that more and more products and services are being bought and sold over the internet, sight unseen. Combine all this with the fact there is no shortage of lawyers and it easy to understand why more and more disputes are routinely being filed in an already overburdened court system.   Its incumbent upon not only legislators and judges but also upon mediators themselves to help better educate people about mediation and to direct more people to such private solutions much sooner. LEARN MORE.

Please show your support of less litigation and more private resolution of conflicts and disputes.

Up to this point, mediation has remained largely a court-annexed process, meaning that lawyers and judges tend to decide when people mediate.  We think people should be able to decide for themselves.   If you agree, please let us know. Please like and follow 4Disputes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+Watch our videos and subscribe to our Youtube channel.