How to resolve a lawsuit without taking a second unreasonable leap of faith.

trust-fall

Whenever you deal with people in business or personal life, you are going to have to be willing to trust them to some extent.  There is always some leap of faith required.  Some level of trust is healthy.  Its often the magnet that draws people together.  However, its often relied upon too much to try to fill holes and hold things together whenever their are gaps in understandings.  “How should we handle this, one person says.  The other responds, just trust me.”  The biggest challenge is to determine just how much trust to again place in another person.

Once a dispute occurs, disappointment, anger and fear set in.  Trust between the parties is broken. People stop talking to one another.  Everything grinds to a halt.  The only way to move forward together is to figure out a way to restore trust.  However, no one wants to take a second leap of faith. 

Litigation builds walls between people and leaves little room to re-build trust.

You can hire a lawyer to try to seek a judgment or determinations from a court exactly what are your legal rights and obligations; but, that still won’t resolve the dispute.  In the end, neither judges nor juries resolve disputes, only the people do.

Courts provide little or no opportunities for the parties to communicate freely or re-establish any trust to work towards an agreement.  Litigation builds walls between people.  Litigation alone is an “isolationist” strategy proven time and time again to fall short of resolving anything.  More than 19 out of every 20 people who file lawsuits, later realize its better to breakdown these walls, dismiss their cases and figure out how to settle their problems out of court.

You need a safe zone with confidential channels to communicate and rebuild trust.

Almost all conflicts and disputes are resolved by negotiation and private agreement.  Sooner or later, you will realize that at least some reduced level of trust must be exchanged to fill some of the gaps, risks and uncertainty that no lawyer, judge or jury can ever guarantee to satisfy.

If you start by placing this trust in a mediator during a confidential mediation conference, you won’t have to take a second leap of faith. You will be able to ask questions, communicate, analyze and make a much more informed decision without the fear or pressure or other influences which may have impeded your decision-making when you decided to enter into the failed agreement or relationship in the first place.

 

When it comes to resolving disputes, its never a good idea to be too full of yourself.

full of yourself

A lot of lawsuits are filed and pursued much longer than they need to be simply because people are naive and overconfident. Confidence can be an intoxicating drug that people crave to make them feel better about their situation.   However, when it comes to trying to settle a difficult conflict or dispute out of court,  it’s never a good idea to be too full of yourself.

Why you don’t want to deal with this guy.

Exaggeration, arrogance and conceit usually find their way into most lawsuits but they are NOT welcome additions to any settlement negotiation.   Does anyone really want to try to negotiate with a guy who is unwilling to listen, unwilling to hear or consider anyone else’s views or interest other than their own?  If you are forced into a negotiation with this guy, do you think you would be more or less likely to have a meaning discussion or make compromises?   MUCH LESS LIKELY.

Why you don’t want to be this guy.

Don’t distract me with the facts.  I’m not listening and I am not interested in what you have to say.   These are all signs of a closed mind.  If that’s your style of trying to settle a dispute, then you are negotiating in the dark.  You won’t be able to see or take advantage of new information presented by the other parties that you might be able to use to your advantage.  You won’t recognize cues to indicate what, how much or how little to offer to move the other party closer to an agreement.   This all results in negotiation mistakes and lost settlement opportunities.  LIKELY RESULT:  You will accept too little or pay too much.